There was once a young boy named Jon Dewey, but his family and friends called him JD. He lived in a land called Everyone. It was called Everyone because everyone was able to do everything. His life was just like everyone else’s life. He went to school and everyone else went to school. When he went out for recess, everyone went out for recess. And when the children played together, everyone took their turn. And at the end of the year when they would have their track and field day, everyone got a blue ribbon whether they finished the race first or last.

Everyones’ mothers told them bedtime stories and JD’s mother was no exception. One of his favorite bedtime stories was one that his mother told him about a place called Triland. Triland was a land that was far away from Everyone. Normal people did not live in Triland. It was the land of the immortals. It was a land of all play and no work. And when the immortals played, they played games that only one of them would win. When they swam, they would change themselves into dolphins, and would swim faster than anyone from Everyone could imagine. When they rode their bicycles, they would change into race cars and would go faster than anyone from Everyone could imagine. And when they ran, they would change themselves into Cheetahs and would run faster than anyone from everyone could imagine. JD would fall asleep and dream about one day moving to Triland and becoming the King.

JD grew up in Everyone and went on to college at Everyone University. When he got out of school, he got a job at Everyone Body Parts Factory. This was a place where Everyone would go when their body parts wore out. Everyone body mechanics would fix the broken down parts and JD’s job was to test the body parts to see that they worked like Everyone else’s body parts. He got married and began to raise a family, just like everyone else in Everyone. He had a wife, Laura and two children, Emma and Ben. JD loved his family and he loved his job at the Everyone Body Parts Factory, but he still dreamed of Triland.

One day, JD decided that he was going to pack all of his belongings, and put his family in their Everyone-mobile, and he was going to move to Triland. And so he did. When he got there, he was amazed. There were no immortals living there. The people looked just like the people in Everyone. When he swam, he felt like he turned into a dolphin, just like in his bedtime story. But when he looked, it was just JD swimming, but swimming faster than he had ever swam before. But every once in a while, when he was swimming, he would stop and flail his arms around wildly, and then start swimming again. Laura asked him what kind of new stroke that was. Jon told Laura he was just shaking the weeds off his arms. When he biked, he felt like he turned into Bobby Labonte’s race car, just like in his bedtime story. But when he looked, it was just JD on his own bike riding faster than he had ever ridden before. When he ran, he felt like he turned into the fastest Cheetah on the Serengheti, just like in his bedtime story. But when he looked, it was just JD in his PF flyers running faster that he had ever run before.

JD decided to make himself the King of the Province of Special in the land called Triland. He made Laura his Queen and named her Queen Laura of Brunch. He made Emma his Princess and named her Princess Emma of Drawing Pictures. He made Ben his Prince and named him Prince Ben of Running Naked. He represented his Province in the Triland games and won many blue ribbons. Not just blue ribbons for being in the race like in Everyone, but blue ribbons for being first. King JD surveyed his Kingdom and was very happy. But something was missing in the Province of Special and one day it came to King JD. King JD had no subjects. What is a King with no subjects? King JD fell into a mound of despair. A King with no subjects. How sad is that? King JD moped around the castle for days, unable to eat or sleep. The only music King JD would listen to was Michael Jackson. Queen Laura had just about had it with King JD! She was pregnant with another Prince or Princess and she could not stand to see JD unhappy. Queen Laura was wise, and she knew that nothing would bring King JD out of this Blue Funk unless he had some subjects. She told JD to go back to Everyone and see if he could talk anyone from Everyone into moving to the Province of Special in Triland.

King JD set off for Everyone with a knapsack filled with oatmeal raisin cookies and a bottle of Province of Special pure spring water. He went to the Everyone Body Parts Factory to see if he could talk anyone from Everyone into moving to the Province of Special in Triland. When King JD got there, he went to the Everyone Games Room. This was a special place where everyone from Everyone would practice swimming and biking and running. Everyone would be swimming in the Everyone Games Room pool. They would swim back and forth, forth and back. Never going anywhere because there wasn’t anywhere to go. Everyone would be biking on bikes with no wheels. They would bike for an hour on a bike that would never move. Never going anywhere because there wasn’t anywhere to go. Everyone would be running on treadmills.They would run as fast as they could, but they would never get anywhere because there wasn’t anywhere to go.

King JD knew that everyone in Everyone thought that there were only immortals in Triland. But King JD was a dreamer, and he knew there were other dreamers that he could convince to move to the Province of Special in Triland.

First he saw Lynette the Body Parts Nurse. A Body Parts Nurse does all the things that the Body Parts Mechanics don’t want to do but want to get paid to do. Lynette the Body Parts Nurse and King JD were involved in spinning together (no, not that kind of spinning!!). This spinning is where everyone from everyone would go to ride bicycles that didn’t go anywhere. King JD knew that Lynette the Body Parts Nurse knew how to swim, could ride a bike, and knew how to run. King JD started with little hints here and there about how nice it was living in Triland. He told Lynette the body Parts Nurse that immortals did not live in Triland. The inhabitants of Triland were real people-special people, but real people nevertheless. King JD coaxed Lynette the Body Parts Nurse with words of encouragement like “You can do it! It’s easy. No problem”. Lynette the body Parts Nurse agreed to move to the Province of Special in Triland. After she was there, she realized that she knew much more about herself than she ever had known before. She had learned initiative, determination, capabilities and limitations. She found personal triumphs and had her share of tragedies. She found great personal satisfaction and conquered fear and self doubt. She was happy she had moved to Triland and yearned for others to move there too.

Then he met Larry the Flyboy. Larry had been in the Everyone Navy, but instead of cruising the Everyone Ocean in Everyone Navy ships like almost everyone else in the Everyone Navy, he would fly in the air in Everyone Navy Airplanes, making the skies safe for everyone in Everyone. Larry the Flyboy had just finished running in a Marathon at his Grandma’s house in Western Everyone. He was very tired from running, so he decided to swim for a while instead of run. So he swam in the Everyone swimming pool in the Everyone Games Room. He had heard of “cross-training” before and thought it would be nice to start spinning in the Everyone Games Room spinning room. That was where King JD cornered Larry the Flyboy and started talking with him about moving to Triland. Since Larry the Flyboy wasn’t certain his Grandma would invite him back to run in her marathon, and he needed a new challenge to vent his pent up energy, he agreed to move to the Province of Special in Triland. Larry the Flyboy thought that he knew all there was to know about training in Triland, but after  a serious case of Triland Road Rash, he realized that you should only get off your bicycle after it has stopped. King JD coaxed Larry the Flyboy with words of encouragement like “You can do it! It’s easy. No problem”. This is starting to sound a little repetitious, isn’t it? Larry the Flyboy loved Triland and enjoyed training with other people that could remind him not to fall off his bike unless, of course, he wanted to.

Jean the Jock (yes, women can be jocks even though they don’t need to wear them) had been taking Everyone aerobics classes for years. You see, Jean the Jock grew up in Everyone at a time when Everyone girls didn’t do athletic things because the Everyone boys said they would get hurt, that they weren’t tough enough and that they couldn’t run. If they wanted to do anything athletic, it was cheerleading at the Everyone football games. Everyone football games were where the Everyone High School boys would run around and knock each other down to impress the Everyone girls, especially the Everyone cheerleaders. This made Jean the Jock mad. She knew she could do anything the Everyone boys could do and could do some things better. She practiced Everyone aerobics, just waiting for her chance to prove what she could do. King JD knew that girls could live in Triland too, and talked to Jean the Jock about moving to Triland. Jean the Jock told King JD that she swam like a rock, and wasn’t sure she could live in Triland not being able to swim. King JD coaxed Jean the Jock with words of encouragement like “You can do it! It’s easy. No problem”. Jean the Jock, being a true blonde, believed King JD and agreed to move to the Province of Special in Triland. She practiced and practiced swimming. Finally she was able to swim far enough to take part in the Triland games. It was then that something came over her. There was a competitive spirit that no one else knew she had. She didn’;t just want to compete-she wanted to be the best. So she worked hard with encouragement from King JD and became the best in her age group at the Triland Games.

Lynette the Body Parts Nurse’s husband was Harry the Man. He was called Harry the Man because he had lived in Triland before King JD ever thought of moving there. Back in those days Triland was a much different place. Oh, the swimming was the same and the running was the same, but bicycles had not been invented yet. The Triland games were swim, run, swim in those days. They didn’t lose many people in the first swim or the run, but that second swim was a disaster. Only half the people made it out of the lake-they were so tired from the run. Harry the Man knew that bicycles would be invented soon, but until then he had to come up with something. Triland was running out of Triathletes (that’s what they called the people who lived in Triland in those days). Harry the Man suggested using hay carts with stone wheels (this was a real breakthrough because wheels hadn’t been invented yet either). They would swim across the lake and the grab the cart with the stone wheels. Then they would go out to Parmalee Road and haul the carts up the hills.They would jump in and ride down the other side. They continued one hill right after the other. They lost a few people that way because they didn’t have steering wheels (you guessed it-they hadn’t been invented yet), but not as many as in the second swim. Harry the Man talked about his days in Triland but no one would believe him. Everyone in Everyone thought Harry the Man was making up stories because they knew only immortals lived in Triland, and Harry the Man was no immortal. So he decided to join King JD, Lynette the Body Parts Nurse, Larry the Flyboy and Jean the Jock in the Province of Special in Triland to prove that he could do a Triathlon.

You remember Jack and the Beanstalk. Well, when Jack grew up he became -what else – Jack the Bean Counter. Jack the Bean Counter’s problem was that, apparently, every time Jack counted a bean, he would eat one too. Jack the Bean Counter knew how to swim since he was a little Beanstalker. But one day, he was swimming in a pool of alcohol, and his arm came right off. He went to the Everyone Body Parts Factory to have a new arm put on. After that, he didn’t swim at all. Jack the Bean Counter also used to run down the streets of Everyone, but when his arm came off swimming, he used it as an excuse to quit running altogether. The only exercise Jack got was his counting finger. He had the thinnest counting finger in the Everyone Body Parts Factory Games Room. Jack the Bean Counter went to the Province of Old to help his mother and father move from one Everyone house to another Everyone house. His brothers Smoky Bill and Smoky Bob helped the Senior Beanstalkers move too. It was then that Jack the Bean Counter realized that he was getting older and fatter and unhealthier. Jack the Bean Counter realized that having a thin counting finger was not the same as being healthy, so he decided to do something about it. His wife, Jean the Jock was already living in Triland, and King JD convinced Jack the Bean Counter that it was never too late to move to Triland. So Jack the Bean Counter joined his wife Jean the Jock and the others in the Province of Special in Triland. Jack the Bean Counter participated in the Triland Games and ended up in last place each time, but that didn’t matter. He never quit and he knew he did his best for that day and he beat everyone in Everyone that was sitting on their couch watching the Everyone television, and that was good enough for him.

At the entrance to the Everyone Games Room, King JD met Tim from Tony the Tiger Land. Tim had just started a new job in Everyone at the Everyone Hose Factory (get your minds out of the gutter). Tim had dreamed of living in Triland since he was a small boy, but he knew that mere mortals did not live there. He had always dreamed of doing a Triathlon (that’s the game all the special people in Triland played) before he was thirty, and at 29 he didn’t have much time left. King JD used his special convincing powers that only kings have, and so, Tim agreed to move to the Province of Special in Triland.

Jerry the Yellow-jacket worked at the Everyone Body Parts Factory. No one knew exactly what Jerry the Yellow-jacket did there, but it must have required drinking a lot of coffee in the Everyone Green Street Café because that’s where King JD found him. Jerry the Yellow-jacket had heard of Triland, and had talked about moving to Triland with a bunch of Tri-Kats. These were special cats that were the pets of the immortals in Triland. King JD explained that he had already moved to Triland and that some others had decided to move there too. Jerry the Yellow-jacket didn’t know if he could talk his wife into moving to Triland and leaving all their friends. So he bought her flowers, and a card (for no reason at all) and put on his best smile. When Jerry the Yellow-jacket arrived home, his wife was standing in the driveway with her bags packed. She and all of Jerry the Yellow-jacket’s children were wearing the official Triland T-Shirts. Jerry the Yellow-jacket knew he was on his way to Triland and it made him very happy. Jerry the Yellow-jacket was a good swimmer, but what King JD didn’t tell him was that he would not be swimming in a nice, clean, warm pool, but would be swimming in a place called Lake Macatoilet where the water was cold and looked like chocolate milk. Jerry the Yellow-jacket was beginning to have second thoughts about this move to the Province of Special in Triland, but he looked around and saw other Yellow-jackets. That made Jerry the Yellow-jacket feel good because he knew that he was among friends going through the same misery that they were.

Kim the Finger Painter was happy swimming in the pool in the Everyone Games Room at the Everyone body parts factory. She would swim back and forth-forth and back. Not going anywhere. Kim the Finger Painter was happy with her life. She enjoyed swimming alone because she didn’t want to inflict herself on any team for fear of failure. Her self-confidence was non-existent. King JD would hint to Kim the Finger Painter that “good swimmers make good Triathletes”. He didn’t say much more than that. King JD knew that Thursday was the day that Kim the Finger Painter went from school to school and sniffed glue with the Everyone School children. Oh, she pretended that it was “art”, but everyone knew it was just legal glue sniffing. King JD had to catch Kim the Finger Painter when she was light headed. He cornered her at the Everyone Games Room pool and talked her into moving to the Province of Special in Triland. When Kim the Finger Painter awoke from her stupor, she realized what had happened and she was frightened. She tried to swim away across Lake Macatoilet, but she couldn’t see the lines on the bottom and she lost her way. She returned to the shore and there were her new friends to greet her. This made Kim the Finger Painter very happy. She liked her new friends because it did not matter to them how she did or what she did. They gave her wholehearted support and encouragement without one string attached.

Diane the Body Parts Mechanic had been a runner for most of her life. She was satisfied to run by herself in the Everyone running races. She would race against herself, but wasn’t very interested in racing against other people. She just wanted to do her best. Diane the Body Parts Mechanic was very busy working at the Everyone Body Parts Factory. It seems that the boys from Everyone and the girls from Everyone were getting together and making everyone babies. Apparently they didn’t want anyone to know so they snuck in the Body Parts Factory in the middle of the night. Diane the Body Parts Mechanic’s job was to help the babies come out. King JD had known Diane the Body Parts Mechanic for a long time. He knew that she had run for a long time but that she did not swim very much and didn’t even own a bicycle. King JD talked Diane the Body Parts Mechanic into buying a mountain bike and riding it in the snow. King JD must have used his special kingly powers because Diane the Body Parts Mechanic hated the cold weather. It was ironic that Diane the Body Parts mechanic broke one of her own body parts and while she was recovering, she couldn’t run or bike but could only swim. You don’t think King JD had anything to do with that, do you?? Diane the Body Parts Mechanic moved to the Province of Special in Triland because she had heard that there were therapeutic mineral baths there. The other special people in Triland knew that Diane the Body Parts Mechanic hated sleeping past five o’clock in the morning. But they agreed that if Diane the Body Parts Mechanic would make them coffee, and give them bagels every Friday, they would swim in the therapeutic baths and keep her company. Diane the Body Parts Mechanic was happy that she had found new friends that had given themselves the gift of good health (even though it made less work for the body parts mechanics).

Denyse the Builder and her husband were very busy building Everyone business buildings and fixing up everyone homes for everyone in Everyone. Denyse the Builder had been so busy she hadn’t had time to look in the mirror and when she did, she didn’t like what she saw. Denyse the Builder decided to change her life so she could feel good about herself again. She knew it would take a long time to do it, but it would be well worth the wait. After a time, Denyse the Builder decided it was time to join the people at the Everyone Games Room and work with a personal trainer. She heard that King JD was in town trying to recruit people to move to the Province of Special in Triland. Denyse the Builder knew that if she moved to Triland and surrounded herself with healthy people, it would help her become more healthy. So Denyse the Buyilder (knowing that she could be a builder in Triland too) moved to the Province of Special in Triland. Being a part of the Triland family has helped inspire Denyse the Builder to reach her goals.

Years ago, Jen, the Storytelling Retro-girl had moved to Everyone from Retro World and was having trouble finding a place to feel like she belonged. She wandered into the basement of the Everyone Body Parts Factory and found the Everyone Games Room. She had spent years swimming, biking and running alone, and because everyone in the Everyone Games room was so friendly and nice, she did not mind never going anywhere. She did not mind not having anywhere to go. She was so happy just to feel like there was a place where Retro-girl fit in. The people in the Everyone Games Room did not seem to mind how much she talked, or how loud she was, or the extra energy she often needed to burn off in the Games Room. Retro-girl, Jen met King JD when he was leading everyone in a class about how to bike on bikes with no wheels and she was impressed with King JD’s talent and gift for being able to help everyone  believe that they could accomplish anything. What was so amazing was that King JD did not push or prod or yell…he simply suggested, with a smile, that everyone’s lives would be much better if they set goals and believed in themselves. And then he would let everyone decide for themselves….oh, every once in a while he would whisper a suggestion into everyone’s ears, followed by…”You can do it….It’s GREAT!” Or he would call them on the phone each day just to see what they were doing to physically and mentally better themselves that day…of course he assumed they had planned that part  of their day first. It was all a part of his plan to lure as many people from Everyone to come with him to Triland. You see, King JD had a strong belief that with a positive attitude, everyone in Everyone could make their dreams come true. To King JD, the sky was not even a limit, but it was more fun to accomplish dreams when you had a group of dreamers to accomplish them with. And, He knew the Province of Special in Triland was the place where everyone’s dreams could be realized. At first, the Storytelling Retro-girl resisted the move to Triland. She thought that her life needed more “balance”. But, she soon realized that she had always held back a bit, always placed some limits on what she thought she could do. King JD had shown her that anyone from Everyone (even a transplant) could do anything, if they wanted. And so, the Storytelling Retro-girl gave up her wool running hat, her cotton sweats and her perceived need for “balance”. She traded it all in for Cool-max, Micro-sensors, heart rate monitors, and rubber suits. She followed King JD and the other wonderful subjects, and moved whole-heartedly to the Province of Special in Triland to make dreams she did not even know she had, come true. The move to Triland changed Jen’s life completely. She never knew what it felt like to go beyond the sky’s limits. She learned to do things with King JD and the other subjects that she never knew she could do. She even developed the special gift of dropping Muffins while running, and thus was given the new name of Muffin Girl, (You should see the strange crop of corn in Triland).  Jen had never known this Joy and Happiness before, except for the time she spent with her partner, The Lone Ranger. She knew that moving to Triland with King JD was the right move. There was no turning back. And she had a loving admiration for all the other subjects who had followed King JD to Triland.

Gary was the Lone Ranger of Everyone. He was married to the Storytelling Retro-Girl. Together, they had done many things, but it was not always the Lone Ranger’s style to follow anyone in Everyone anywhere. The Lone Ranger, Gary, was use to doing things in his own way, and in his own time, but he fully supported everyone in Everyone to do things in their own way too. Oh…The Lone Ranger, Gary loved to come the Games Room in the basement of the Body Parts Factory to join everyone in Everyone there who were riding bikes with no wheels, not going anywhere. He always felt stronger when he left. His favorite bike leader was King JD, and the Lone Ranger always showed up in his classes. He enjoyed the challenge and the camaraderie of the others from Everyone there. The Lone Ranger was very good at supporting everyone in Everyone and he made them feel successful and good about themselves. The Storytelling Retro-girl could attest to that. The Lone Ranger had an undying faith and belief that everyone in Everyone should always do and feel their best. You see, the Lone Ranger, Gary’s life work was to help the younger people of Everyone who where struggling to learn all they needed to learn. He made them feel like they could learn anything. The Lone Ranger had a quiet way of making everyone in Everyone feel fine being just the way they were. When King JD asked the Lone Ranger if he wanted to move to the Province of Special in Triland he said yes. He had  watched his Retro-girl start to transform herself into a strong subject of King JD’s Province of Special in Triland. He saw that now she could swim like a Dolphin, bike as fast as a race car, and run like a Cheetah. The Lone Ranger started to train in Triland, but, he would often leave to go do other things. And so, sometimes he trained in Triland, and sometimes he trained alone, and sometimes, he and the Retro-girl would train together. The Lone Ranger used a special hops-based beverage to help his training along. The Lone Ranger had long, strong arms, long strong legs, long strong hair and a very strong mind. He was a natural at swimming, biking, and running. Some of the subjects in the Province called the Lone Ranger a Gazelle and they loved to watch his easy smooth running style. The Muffin-dropping Retro-girl was glad that the Lone Ranger wanted to be in the Province of Special in Triland because she hated to be without him. So, now with all the other subjects, they could both share in making new dreams come true. And so you see, King JD even lured the Lone Ranger into Triland because it WAS much more fun to accomplish dreams when you had a group of dreamers to accomplish them with. The Lone Ranger often supplied the subjects with his special hops-based training beverage after long and demanding races and it really seemed to help ease everyone’s pain.

Elaine the Speed Skater had lived in Triland many years before King JD ever thought about moving there. In fact, she had lived there when King JD was a young boy, sitting on his mother’s lap, listening to the stories of Triland. She even lived there before Harry the Man lived there. Elaine the Speed Skater had swam like a dolphin, and biked as fast as a race car and run like a cheetah, but she hadn’t done those things for a long time. She had married Len the Race Car Driver and had lots of children. Her time was taken up with raising a family. She often longed for the day when she could move back to Triland. When she heard that King JD was looking for special people to move to Triland, she jumped at the chance. She practiced swimming in the Everyone Games Room swimming pool, and when she moved to the Province of Special in Triland, she swam at Diane the Body Parts Mechanic’s House (as long as there was coffee of course). When she swam in Lake Macatoilet with Jerry the Yellow Jacket and the other subjects, something strange happened. Her body parts rusted and they wouldn’t move. They took Elaine the Speed Skater to the Macatoilet Body Parts Factory but couldn’t find any reason why her body parts rusted. Elaine the Speed Skater was sad because she wanted to live in Triland, but her body parts just wouldn’t cooperate. She decided that if she took some time to rest, the body parts would fix themselves. She would go to all the Triland games and help the others get ready and give them words of encouragement. This made the subjects of King JD very happy because Elaine the Speed Skater was still part of the family. This made Elaine the Speed Skater happy too.

Bill the politician had also lived in Triland, but much more recently than Elaine the Speed Skater. He would take part in the Triland games, but he would be all alone. He would drive to the Triland games alone, he would swim, bike and run alone. And then he would drive home alone. Bill the Politician would talk to some of the people at the Triland games that he had seen at other Triland games, but he still was alone and he liked it that way. Bill the Politician decided to run for President of Everyone and spent lots of time on the campaign trail. After a time, he could see that his campaign was not reaching the people, so he decided to come home. He heard that King JD was in Everyone looking for special people to move to Triland. He liked training alone, but he thought he would give the group workouts a chance, so he moved to the Province of Special in Triland. Bill the Politician liked living in Triland and liked working out with the other subjects of King JD, but he liked working out alone too. He was still busy with family activities so he couldn’t spend all of his time in Triland, but Bill the Politician was happy because he loved to watch his son and daughter play their games and he knew he wouldn’t have them around that much longer. He even changed his name from Bill the Politician to Bill the Counselor.

Jim the Engineer had lived in Triland for quite some time. He had raced in the Triland races many times, but he had never dared do the half-ironman triathlon. The half-ironman triathlon was a race that only the immortals could do, or so the people in Triland thought. But King JD was wise, and he knew his subjects would do anything he asked (no, not just anything within reason—ANYTHING!!). Some people called the half ironman triathlon the “Tin-man” race, but those were obviously people who had never tried it. King JD convinced Jim the Engineer that he would have fun if he moved to the Province of Special in Triland and joined the group. So Jim the Engineer did just that.

Others moved to the Province of Special in Triland to join King JD and his subjects. Marsh the Football Man moved to Triland to be with his wife Kim the Finger Painter. He had some trouble swimming in the Boy Scout pond so he decided to live in Dua-land which was next to Triland until he could practice his swimming more. But he promised–you all heard that– he promised to practice swimming all of the cold time and would make a permanent move to Triland in the spring. Dennis the Spinner had some trouble swimming in Lake Macatoilet and also promised to practice his swimming so he could move to Triland permanently. Bobbie the Painter moved to Triland for a short time, but she had just gotten married and seemed to have other things on her mind. The subjects of King JD knew that Bobbie the Painter would be back.

King JD and all of the subjects were very happy and life was good. King JD even wore a hat that said life is good. King JD and his subjects were a family and that made them very happy. Because, you see, when you are family, you stick up for each other no matter what. When you are a family, your love is unconditional. When you are a family, each contributes according to their own ability. When you are a family, you look to each other for support when you are sad, you look to each other to share your happiness, and you look to each other for help when you need it. And your family is always there.

I would like to say that King JD and his Queen Laura of Brunch, and Princess Emma of Drawing Pictures and Prince Ben of Running Naked and all of the subjects of the Province of Special in Triland lived happily ever after. And they did– but they knew they could be happier if it weren’t for the evil King Adriano and his subjects from the Province of Alpine in Triland, but that is a whole other story.