From the title, you would expect me to report on a whole lot of new things that are happening, but you also know I have no life, so there isn’t anything new. No, the Green Street house hasn’t sold; no, the cottage at Crooked Lake hasn’t sold; no, I haven’t looked for a job…you get the picture.

In my last epistle, I relayed the weather fiasco at The Muncie Endurathon, and how I’ve been a weather “good elf” at the races where I don’t compete. Well, that streak is broken! The weather at Lake Placid was just as rainy as Muncie, but it lasted all day. It was extremely hard on the spectators and I heard a lot of complaining. I had to change clothes three times and all my shoes were “squishy-wet” and still haven’t dried out. I’m sure the participants were bothered a bit too. Congratulations to Diane, Brian and Martin for enduring some tough conditions and finishing the race.

Brian had his usual good race and looked really strong when he finished, although I’m sure he was very tired. Every time I saw him, he looked fresh and upbeat. “Never again Diane” had her usual solid, consistent race until the last few miles of the run. She got Jack Walker-itis, ended up a bit dehydrated, and felt lots better after an IV of fluids and anti-nausea meds. Better living through chemistry. And, yes, she did say “never again”, again. Martin had the race he expected, although I detected a little frustration during the bike. That part of the race is his strong suit and he was frustrated on the downhills where he was continually blocked and couldn’t make use of the speed. He finished with a flair and seemed to feel really good. He did mention wanting a big greasy burger after the race, but by the time we all got back and the racers got cleaned up, there isn’t anything open.

At the hotel, the “boy’s room” looked like a college frat house with clothes drying on all the lamps, and the bathroom looked like a tornado had gone through. We all had our own little space, and could always find our things after looking for a while. The girl’s “kegger room” looked like you would expect with all the beds made all the time, more food than you could possibly eat in a week, and the bathroom smelled like a boutique with scented candles, pot-pourri and everything in its place. Wine and cheese were consumed in the girl’s room, and beer and chips were the fare in the boy’s room. Diane and Jean had the quiet room. I’d like to report on that room, but I wasn’t allowed in. Gary and I went Ubu hunting on Saturday and bagged a dozen between us. On the way home, I tripped and bumped Gary through the open door of a tavern, so we celebrated with a couple of Samuel Smith’s Taddy Porters.

Monday, the girls couldn’t wait for Bill and I to head back, Judy drives much faster than me and it hurts her to drive that slow (the speed limit), so they decided to leave early. So they left fifteen minutes before Bill and I did and got home ten minutes before we did. There are unsubstantiated rumors that they may have taken a wrong turn or two, may have stopped at an ice cream store or two, and I’m told that Judy may have met a new friend in Sarnia. I guess you’ll just have to ask them how things went.

The weekend after the Lake Placid trip, Robert and I played in the Hastings Country Club Member Guest Tournament. Before we teed off on Saturday, I had played two nine-hole rounds and my game showed it. I hit some good shots, but a lot of bad ones and our opponents said they really, really, really enjoyed playing us. I bet they did! You play five nine hole matches and each match is worth ten points. There were only five teams in our flight, so one match was played against “the par dummy”. It’s assumed that the par dummy makes par on every hole, and you have to beat par to get a point, tie par for a half point, and bogey for zero points. Whichever team has the most points after nine holes gets one bonus point. Except for the par dummy, which we beat 6 to 4, we got 3 1/2, 3 1/2, 3 1/2 and 3 1/2. We didn’t get any “closest to the pins”, no “skins”, and didn’t place at all in the Calcuttas.

I did win thirty dollars though and that was nice. There were no gross skins out on the first two nine hole matches so I got my twenty dollars back. And, twice, when we got to the par three number four hole, I didn’t put in five dollars for the closest to the pin contest and I didn’t hit the green either time. In accountant’s logic, I’m up thirty dollars. Robert, un-be-known to me, had a couple of side bets and actually won one of them. The team he won from went to the Margarita Party on Friday night, had a huge party Saturday night, and may have been a little under the weather both Saturday and Sunday.

I’m sure you all went through the same dull couple of weeks as I did.

Just (Recovering From The Ubu Hunting Trip) Jack