A couple of things after I sent last night’s e-mail…

First of all I forgot to mention a sign that we kept seeing in South Dakota. It was for Dicks Auto and Truck Service (or at least I think that’s what it was) and, on the sign, it said 24 HOUR TOE SERVICE. Really!!?? We laughed about it each time we saw it, but after I started thinking about it, I may have pre-judged what I saw. It could have been one of three things.

1) It could have been that Dick had his pre-school child help him with the ad copy and might have used crayons and construction paper.

2) It could have been a stroke of advertising genius. Spell a word incorrectly and people will not only remember it, but tell all their friends about it. If this is the case, it worked.

3) Dick could be a Podiatrist who lost his medical license due to Medicare fraud and resorted to auto and truck repair, the job that got him through med school, and actually does toe service on the side. Diane…want his number??

Some people find the toes erotic, and I suppose there’s an outside chance that he has a back room brothel where they do your toes for 24 hours. I think that idea has just a smidgen above zero possibility. Looking back at my younger, best days, 24 hours of anything isn’t even a remote possibility.

Secondly, the room and the shower in last night’s motel was much better. Although, the shower head was a little loose and squirted water everywhere until I tightened it. Also, it atomized the water, but kept it in the shower enclosure. The one negative thing was that the shower water created a slight vaccuum in the enclosure, so the shower curtain kept clinging to my wet body, which made it hard to lather up. For a couple of you, get your mind out of the gutter. We didn’t pick up any bimbos last night, so it’s the only thing that clung to my wet body!

Just (Getting Ready For Another Fun Day Of Driving) Jack

Just a short addendum to yesterday’s e-mail about the Walker Boys road trip. First of all, the motel room we got in Albert Lea had to be the smallest I’ve ever been in that had two beds. And secondly, it had the worst shower head I think I’ve ever seen. It squirted water in all directions, which was bad enough, but it atomized the water so that everything in the bathroom got wet. Matt said he was a pair of underpants short for the time we’ll be on the road (he’ll have to turn one pair inside out), and was almost two pair short after his shower. They may have been slightly humid, but not too wet to wear, or so he says.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I had the handle cranked over to full hot, and it was just a tad cooler than I like it. In order to rinse off after lathering up, you had to find the one spot in the middle that was gushing a gallon of water a second. I would say something like “You should have seen it”, but if I had been in there at the time, you would be calling your therapist and trying your best to erase the image from your brain.

We ran into a bit of snow as we crossed over from Minnesota to South Dakota. It wasn’t exactly a blizzard, but as close as you can get to the real thing. I couldn’t see anything as I passed semi-trucks with all the slush and water they were stirring up. We ran out of it close to noon, so the rest of the day we were just fighting the wind. We went through several areas where the snow was drifted along the sides of the road and was plowed into piles in some of the towns.

We stopped at a restaurant for lunch in a town called Murdo, South Dakota. It wasn’t much of a town, but the restaurant had quite a few locals so we figured it was OK. Matt and I both ordered Buffalo Burgers with fries. One plate came first so I gave it to Matt. The waitress said the other one would be up soon. Matt finished his entire sandwich and all his fries by the time mine came. Getting up and walking out was not an option. When they say “wide open spaces”, they mean just that. If you miss a meal or a gas station, the next one might be a hundred miles down the road, so I ate it. The burger was good…I couldn’t tell the difference between that and very lean ground beef.

With all the complaining, the views are starting to get spectacular. I know they’ll be even better tomorrow as we head into the Rockies, but the Badlands and the Black Hills in South Dakota are something to see. I saw my first small herd (10 to 15) of Pronghorn Antelope. I know that doesn’t mean anything to most of you, but I was excited.

I’m tired so I’m signing off for now. Can’t wait to go trick-or-treating tomorrow at The Sportsman in Alberton, Montana and Big Sky in Missoula.

Just (I Know I Have One Spot On My Body That Doesn’t Hurt But I Can’t Find It) Jack

I’ve been off the airwaves for a while, for no particular reason. But I’m back, at least for a while.

Many of you know that I’d been talking about spending three weeks or so in Northern California, searching the area to see if Jean and I would be interested in spending a month or so spring and/or fall. My thoughts were to drive out, stay across the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin County, and spend some time going from town to town checking things out. Many of you also know that Matt offered to fly back to Michigan, spend a week or so with family and friends, and ride back with me.

So that’s where we are…on our way to San Francisco. We got kind of a slow start. Without going into a lot of detail, we planned to leave at 2 PM yesterday, left Hastings at 3:45 (my fault), and had to stop at the cottage. We made it as far as Munster, Indiana which, luckily, is the home of Three Floyds Brewing Company (what a coincidence). We had dinner and maybe, just maybe, a beer or two, then called it a day.

We stayed at a motel near the expressway. When we took the exit, we drove about a mile down the road, so I thought to myself, at least we’re far enough from the road noise to get a good night’s sleep. Not so!! We turned to the right, made another quick right, and drove a mile back on the service road to I-94, I-80 and whatever other highways intersect there. We could have thrown a rock to the Eastbound lanes, and I thought Matt was going to do that this morning. The traffic never stops, and it was 99% “big rigs”. To say it was loud was an understatement. But the trials and tribulations don’t end there. We stayed at a Motel 6 and paid three extra dollars for Wi-Fi which did not work. I spent 15 minutes this morning getting the three dollars taken off my credit card.

When Motel 6 says in their ads “We’ll leave a light on for ya”, we didn’t think that meant right outside our window, shining through flimsy curtains. Between that light, Matt having to put his hat over my phone ‘cuz my phone light kept blinking, and having to put on his head phones on to drown out my snoring, he didn’t get much sleep. He hasn’t shot me yet, but if I disappear, check Matt’s luggage.

To help break up the trip, we drove to New Glarus Brewing Company near Madison, Wisconsin. We planned to get there by 10:30 but that didn’t happen. The Tom-Tom doesn’t like it when states change road names and addresses, so it took us to Madison, out to Verona, and told us we were at our destination as we passed the bike special needs area for Ironman Wisconsin. We had to drive 16 miles back South to get to the town and another mile South to the new brewery. We took the self-guided tour, Matt sampled a beer, and we bought around three cases to go. We had to unpack and repack the back of the Jeep to fit it all in. Many states have laws against bring beer into or out of the state, so we may be calling for bail money.

After leaving New Glarus, the quickest way to get back to I-90 is through Madison. Luckily we went right by Ale Asylum Brewing Company, so we stopped there for lunch. As it turned out, Ale asylum is less than a mile from where we stayed last month for Ironman Wisconsin.

Needless to say, we didn’t make much headway, so tomorrow is a full travel day. We’re spending the night in Albert Lea, Minnesota and will get into South Dakota a couple of hours into the drive tomorrow. It started raining when we left Madison and it rained on and off all the way here. The wind is blowing quite hard. Hopefully the storm that is going through will pass by us in the night and it won’t be bad tomorrow.

So I’ll sign off for now. I’m tired and my brain is working way below its normal 50% level.

Just (Bloated And Tired Of The Drive Already) Jack