Elaine was a charter member of our Trilanders Triathlon Club. In her younger years she had competed in speed skating and loved the sport. Elaine did one of her first triathlons at Lake Macatawa in 1999, which was my first triathlon race. She had a health problem on the swim and ended up in the hospital for a day or two. My wife, Jean, and Elaine were swimming together at Algonquin Lake in September of 2004 when Elaine died.

When Len asked if I would say a few words about Elaine, he knew that I had written e-mails each week to our triathlon group on my training for Ironman Wisconsin, and that Elaine loved reading them. He knew she would be proud to have me write something and I am proud to have the opportunity to pass on the thoughts of The Trilanders, our triathlon training group.

This is where I should say when Elaine was born, and I know she wouldn’t care if I did, but I’ll just say she was born some time back and leave it at that. She attended Roosevelt High School in Wyandotte, and graduated 18 years after that unknown birth date. She and Len have been married quite a number of years. That takes care of the details. To steal a line from Paul Harvey, now here’s the rest of the story.

Our triathlon group was formed in the fall/winter of 2000. In a story about our beginnings, Jon Anderson was named King J.D., the king of Triland, which is how we got our name. We were given names based on our jobs, our personality traits, or our accomplishments. For example, Dr. Diane Ebaugh was named Diane the Body Parts Mechanic. Since I am an accountant, and accountants are often called bean counters, I was named Jack the Beancounter. Because of her accomplishments and interest, Elaine was named Elaine the Speed Skater. Through the years our group has changed. Some have left, others have joined in.

The group has formed a bond together. It’s more than just a group of athletes practicing for the big game. We have become like a family, and Elaine was one of the founding members. We come from all walks of life and each member brings his or her talents to the group. Some of us are good athletes and consistently win our age group at races. If you’ve seen my race results, you know that’s not me. Some of us have been athletes all our lives and excel at one or more aspects of the swim, bike or run. That’s not me either.

Elaine has been a champion speed skater for many years, but what she brought to the table was love, giving, a big heart, and acceptance of everyone for who they are. She loved, cared for and accepted everyone in the group for what they were doing, not whether they won or not. It was the same at home. Len told me that in the 47 years they were married, not one day passed that she didn’t wake up in the morning, turn to him and say, “I love you, Len”. She not only said it. She lived it; not only with Len, but with the rest of her family, with her friends, and with everyone she met.

We call ourselves a triathlon club. For those of you who don’t know what that is, you swim a certain distance, jump out of the water and onto your bike, bike a specific distance, jump off your bike, put on your running shoes and run a certain distance across the finish line. But some of us don’t swim or bike but love to run. Some of us don’t swim or run but love to bike. Some of us don’t bike or run but love to swim. Some of us love do all three but never race. Elaine loved to do all three, but was limited on the things she could do due to injuries or medical conditions. She had gotten back into speed skating and was getting in shape for the winter season. She would still come to the Sunday runs, and often would walk since that’s all she could do at the time. Sometimes she would bring Len along. Other times he would stay home, probably washing the cars.

We would often go on group bike rides and, for much of the summer, we would have time trials on the bikes. A time trial is going as fast as you can for a specified distance against the clock. We would start out at the Mormon Church on Airport Road, go out to M-37, up to Irving Road, through Irving into Middleville, back on State Road to Airport Road and back to where we started. Each rider would start a couple of minutes after the previous rider and you would try your best to catch the person in front of you. I remember one evening I started two minutes after Elaine, rode as fast as I could go, and never caught her. I got back to the church and Elaine wasn’t there. A couple more people came in after I did and they didn’t pass Elaine either. We got worried and were just about to go look for her when Elaine came riding in. Apparently someone, I won’t mention any names, gave her the wrong directions, and she went a couple of miles out of her way to McCann Road. She just laughed and said now she understood why she never passed anyone, no one passed her either and her time was worse than she thought it should be.

We usually had a brunch after the Sunday run and Len and Elaine hosted it several times. Usually there was more food than we needed, but we managed to eat it all, just to be polite. Elaine would always treat everyone in the group the same. It didn’t really matter whether someone had a good race, a bad race or didn’t race at all. Elaine would always offer congratulations for just being there.

This past Sunday morning, Larry, Gary and I ran our Sunday run together. Since Larry and I were recovering from Ironman Wisconsin, we were to do a short recovery run. Gary told us about a four mile run from their house on Sager Road to Cook Road, up Cook to Quimby, left on Quimby to the dirt part of Tanner Lake Road, back to Cook Road and back to the house. He called it the hilliest four miles in Barry County and he was elected to babysit us so we didn’t try to run too fast or too hard. We talked much of the time but sometimes ran without saying anything. We all said at one time or another, “What a beautiful day”. We all had thoughts about Elaine and I was reminded that about two years ago, another friend of mine died. Sometimes I have difficulty saying how I feel, so I turn to writing and the words just come out. Usually I’ll finish writing, feel better about whatever is bothering me, password protect it, and save it to the computer for no one to see. I have been having some trouble dealing with the fact Elaine is gone, as many of you have, and this piece came to mind. I didn’t tell Larry and Gary the story out loud because real men don’t do those things. Just in case you were wondering, this isn’t a poem. To quote Robert Browning, “It isn’t poetry if it doesn’t rhyme”.

Some time ago I walked through a garden.
I had been there many times before.
I came to see the brilliant colors of the flowers
Contrasted with the green leaves and grass.
The garden was beautiful but, as I looked around,
I noticed that a Rose was missing.
I asked the gardener what had happened to it.
He told me that it had been picked
And placed in a vase on a table in a restaurant
And at a candlelit dinner at that table a couple fell in love.
I was glad that the Rose had ended its life on Earth
In such a noble way.
Just then a stranger walked by and said
“What a beautiful garden.
Isn’t this the most beautiful garden you have ever seen?”
And I said yes, not wanting to diminish his moment.
But I thought to myself,
“You should have been here yesterday.
Yes the garden is beautiful,
But it is less for the missing Rose”.

Some time ago I went for a run on a road
That went through a beautiful forest.
I often ran that way to watch the birds build their nests,
And teach their young to fly.
To watch the squirrels gather nuts
And chase each other up and down the trees.
As I looked around I noticed that a small Spruce Tree was missing.
I asked the owner of the land what had happened.
He told me that the small Spruce Tree had been cut down
And had been taken to a nursing home.
It was being used as a Christmas tree.
And all of the residents that were able
Were decorating the tree.
It became the center of their world
And it brought joy to all who saw it.
I was glad that the small Spruce Tree had ended its life on Earth
In such a noble way.
Just then a stranger walked by and said
“What a beautiful forest.
Isn’t this the most beautiful forest you have ever seen?”
And I said yes, not wanting to diminish his moment.
But I thought to myself,
“You should have been here yesterday.
Yes the forest is beautiful,
But it is less for the missing Spruce Tree”.

I awoke Thanksgiving Day with great anticipation.
There was much work to do.
Family was home and friends would be stopping by.
The turkey needed to be stuffed and put in the oven.
The leaves needed to be put in the table.
Extra chairs needed to be brought downstairs from my office.
As I looked around I noticed that a Friend was missing.
There was no one to ask where she had gone.
So I imagined that she was needed somewhere else
And she was there brightening their day
And she was being a Friend to them.
I was glad that the pain and suffering of her life on Earth was over
And she was in a better place
And she had faced death with courage in such a noble way.
Just then someone said
“What a beautiful Thanksgiving.
Here we are around the table with family and friends.
Isn’t this the most beautiful Thanksgiving you have ever seen?”
And I said yes, not wanting to diminish the moment.
But I thought to myself,
“You should have been here yesterday.
Yes this Thanksgiving is beautiful,
But it is less for our missing Friend”.

I thought to myself, that certainly fits Elaine, but it doesn’t sound complete. Something is different. At that very moment, Larry said, “What makes this a beautiful day is that Elaine is smiling down on us”. Then it dawned on me. That was the difference. Elaine isn’t gone at all. When that bond was formed with Len and her family, with her friends, and with the Trilanders group, who Elaine was became a part of us all and lives on with each of us. Elaine is loving and caring and taught us all to love and care. Elaine is accepting of everyone unconditionally, and taught us all to accept. Elaine is giving and taught us all to give. Elaine has a big heart for everyone and taught us to open our hearts.

So Elaine is still a part of us all. She may be gone in body, but she lives on in our hearts, our minds and our spirit. We’ll miss you, Elaine.