This past Monday I had to drop something off at Pennock Hospital (no, not my dignity…that happens September 13th at 11:30 AM) and I found a parking place near the Health and Wellness Center across the parking lot from where I was going. The car next to me was an older Jeep Cherokee with the hood up. From the driver’s side of that car came a large woman carrying a baseball bat. I wondered what she had in mind. She stopped next to my car, turned to her Jeep and started whacking the exterior fender. That area was full of dents so it wasn’t the first time it had happened. She walked back around the car, hopped in (more like slid in),  turned the key and the car started. I looked under the hood as I got out and walked by and saw a couple of things cobbled together with duct tape (aka Georgia Chrome) and they were fastened to the inside of the fender that had just taken the beating. I used to know a lot about cars when I was young, but nowadays there is so much crap under the hood I don’t know what is what. So now I’m curious if you need a wooden bat like I saw the girl use or if an aluminum bat would be even better. The next time I take my car in for a tune up, I’ll ask.
On the way back to Hastings from the cottage the other day, I was behind a woman in a car with a handicapped license plate. She was driving slowly down the hills (around 40 m.p.h.) and would get back up to 55 m.p.h. on the uphills and on the only straight areas where I could have passed. I knew I was in for an interesting ride so I settled in and relaxed. It was then that I saw her cross the center line a couple of times and turn the turn signal on where there was no cross road. I looked closer and a small dog was hanging out the driver’s side window. I’m guessing the dog’s antics running back and forth across her lap was causing the car to swerve and the dog must have unintentionally turned on the turn signal. I like dogs, and I know they are smarter than many of the drivers I’ve seen in the past, but THEY DON’T HAVE HANDS…PEOPLE SHOULD NOT LET THEM DRIVE. And besides…this one was a small “toy” dog so I’m sure his feet could not reach the pedals.
I can visualize another problem. You’ve had a couple of drinks, so you let the dog drive while you ride in the passenger’s seat eating combos and drinking wine disguised as Gatorade in a sports bottle. All of a sudden you drop a combo on the floor of the car and, within a millisecond, the dog is down there eating it. WHO’S DRIVING THE CAR? Dogs just don’t have the necessary concentration skills and their driving should be against the law. Sorry Becky. Please don’t send the ASPCA to my house.
My Ironman race “weather pox” history has blended into the Sunday runs. The last time we ran from the lake it was really, really hot and really, really humid. We ran from the condo this morning and it was really, really humid and uncomfortably warm. I sent out an e-mail saying that the run was at our place but we would only have bread and water. People felt sorry for us and brought all kinds of good food. That was great and thanks to all who made the effort, but it set my “weight loss plan” back a few days.
Rocky, Jean’s youngest, and Sara, my middle child, are home for their 10th high school class reunion. Not counting the ride home from the airport, we’ve seen Rocky for about an hour and Sara for about the same amount. Actually, we’re happy that they’re out having fun with their friends and we haven’t gotten any calls from the police department, so they must be being good. But, wallflowers they ain’t! Of course, when Rocky got home, “Mom” thought he looked undernourished so she bought him a banana cream pie. He’s had one piece and I’ve had two. Another blow to the “Just Jack Patented Diet Plan”. Where’s Kirstie Allie when you need her.
I just got the ingredients to brew Fat Tire Amber Ale, a beer brewed by the New Belgium Brewing Company in Fort Collins, Colorado. Fat Tire is their flagship brew so I thought I would see how we like it. It may become the signature beer of the Trilanders.
Just (No Weight Loss Yet But No Gain Either) Jack