When Jean and I first met, I was making that initial awkward small talk and I told her I had offered to make an apple pie to take to my parents’ house for a holiday get together. I was complaining that I had lost the rolling pin in my divorce and probably should go out and buy one. She said that I could use a water glass dusted with flour to roll out the crust. I found out later that the glass leaves lots of telltale lines in the crust and I found out much later that she baked very few pies in her life. She showed up with pies at family outings, but didn’t let on that her mother made them and she always made really good ones. So maybe we all overstate a few of our talents during the courtship period of our relationships, but it’s not the end of the world.

When it comes to food, Jean has her likes and dislikes, and I have mine and they aren’t the same. Jean puts cottage cheese (which I dislike) on almost anything; pizza; spaghetti; chili; and on and on. Her favorite vegetable is canned spinach (which I also dislike) which she eats several times a week, often slathered in cottage cheese. So when you look at me, you probably ask yourself how I could get this big (not portly, just “big”) when she makes things that I don’t like to eat. It’s because we often eat at the same time, but we each make what we want and I, apparently, like food that isn’t on any of the healthy eating list of foods.

I make myself eggs by breaking two in a small fry pan, break the yolks to swirl them around (but not scramble), put a top on the pan, and let the eggs cook hard. Jean puts two eggs in the same pan, covers it, and goes off and does something else for a while. Most women do “multitasking” better than men (it’s in chapter one of the “How To Get Your Husband To Do What You Want And Think It’s His Idea” manual that all girls get before they get married) but Jean is starting to slip. Four times (that I have witnessed) in the last two weeks I have seen her run through the house muttering “Oh s&*%” only to pull the eggs off the burner just before they burst into flames. I know none of you guys will admit publicly that your wife ever burnt eggs, but you know what I mean when I say it makes the whole house stink for hours. That’s all I better say ‘cuz the couch isn’t all that comfortable.

After months of tolerating and complaining about pain in my left hip after running, I went to an orthopedic surgeon last Friday. He says it has some arthritis, which we all knew, but it wasn’t “all that bad” and I should try a cortisone shot in or near the joint, so that will happen Thursday or Friday. I told him I’m not a great “shot guy” but he’s had it and says it isn’t that bad. He’s used to performing lots of surgeries and makes a living removing old worn out joints with an electric saw, so I guess pain is all relative. I don’t expect to jump up from the table and run ten miles instead of the three I have been running all along, but I hope I can increase the mileage gradually without much residual pain. We’ll see. If it doesn’t work, you can expect more whining.

Last year when I made arrangements to have the boat picked up for the winter, it snowed like crazy and it was a miserable lake crossing. This year, they will pick it up Wednesday. For those of you who don’t live in Michigan, we’ve had a run of unseasonably warm weather, but a cold front will come in tomorrow evening followed by an even colder front on Tuesday. The weather on Wednesday should be, at best, in the forties or fifties with a good chance of rain throughout the day. It should be fun. Anybody want to go for a boat ride?

Just (The Weather Pox Kid) Jack