Some of you remember the story about my experience in a YMCA locker room in Florida a couple of years ago. For those of you that missed it, you can read it on the website http://www.jackswriting.com/ under the heading “reader favorites” with the title “dilemma”. I should warn you that the story may keep you awake at night and, when you do sleep, you will have nightmares. This isn’t a repeat of what happened back then, but strange things are happening that may just be coincidences.   This past Monday I went to the fitness center to work out. After I finished I went into the locker room to get my gym bag and change into street shoes. The only other guy in the locker room came out of the shower, naked as a jaybird, and didn’t bother to cover himself with a towel. Of course, his locker was right next to mine and, of course, he stood facing me drying his hair while I was bent over tying my shoes, way too close to his nether regions. Other than being a little uncomfortable and definitely grossed out, I didn’t think anything about it.

On Friday, I went to the fitness center again to work out and went into the locker room when I was finished. I opened my locker and started taking off my workout clothes to change into my winter weather gear. Just then two guys came out of the showers, again naked as jaybirds and, again, didn’t bother to cover themselves with towels. One guy’s locker was the next one to my right and the other guy’s locker was the next one to my left. As I sat there  in between them tying my shoes, they both spent what I considered way too much time getting dressed. I don’t think I send out any “subliminal signals” so I’m not sure where these guys are coming from and why this keeps happening to me. Case closed! No salty comments are necessary!

The marina picked up the pontoon boat this past Wednesday. I asked Jean if she could follow me down to the lake, pick me up from the landing, and drive me over to the cottage. That way, when I took the pontoon over to be picked up, I’d have my car there and I wouldn’t have to walk back to the cottage to get it. Jean was way too busy meeting her friends for breakfast and, afterwards, having her hair done. It was cold, spitting rain, and the wind was strong from the West Northwest so the 2.3 mile walk from the landing to the cottage was not very pleasant, but Jean had a wonderful time back in Hastings. When I got to the cottage I had a little trouble starting the motor due to the cold air, and had some trouble keeping it running at idle throttle. I took the front rope off the dock cleat and the boat swung out away from the dock. I jumped on before it got too far away and restarted the motor after it stalled. I was too far from the dock to go back out the gate, so I climbed over the stern and stepped down to the dock, almost falling in the lake. I untied the back rope from the other dock cleat and just about lost the boat when the wind caught it and pushed it toward the shore. I struggled to pull the boat to the end of the dock and turn it parallel with the shoreline. The wind had it pinned tight against the end of the dock, so I didn’t want to put the motor in gear and drive away for fear of scraping the boat or dragging the dock with me across the lake.

I walked around the console to the gate and was just about to push off the dock when the engine stalled again. I walked back around the console, restarted it and waited until it idled smoothly. I got up, walked around the console to the gate, and it stalled again. Again I started the motor, stepped around the console and pushed the boat away from the dock. I ran around the console, trying to hurry so the boat didn’t crash back into the dock, and put it in gear. I went about three feet before the motor stalled again and the wind started quickly taking me toward the beach. I restarted it again, trimmed the motor up so it didn’t hit bottom, and turned out into the lake. The “shallow water alarm” was beeping at me non-stop but I finally made it through the weeds and on my way to the landing. Of course, I had only unbuttoned the mooring cover on one side because I thought I would be late getting to the landing by 10 AM as I had promised. As soon as I turned into the wind, the cover started billowing up so high I couldn’t see where I was going. I had to steer with my right hand while holding down the mooring cover with my left. That whole experience must have been quite a sight. I could just see the neighbors telling their friends the whole sordid affair at cocktail hour and having quite a laugh at my expense. So what’s new?

I’ll have my cortisone shot on Tuesday at noon and will not run on it for three or four days. By Saturday I’ll have the left hip of a twenty year old. Watch out Tom and Brian. I’ll be hot on your heels on the Sunday runs.

Just (I’ll Run So Fast I’ll Be A Blur) Jack