The condo is on the golf course, as many of you know, so we see a lot of golfers getting an early start to their season. The weatherman, or is it weatherperson?, says that we will have cold weather by the end of the week with highs in the thirties. I’m assuming there won’t be many people on the links until the warm weather comes back. That’s when I get to show that I’m a mediocre golfer, which goes along with being a mediocre triathlete, a mediocre baseball player, and basically mediocre at all my athletic endeavors.

I’ve said this all before, and I’m really not just trying to put myself down unmercifully; it’s just a fact of life. Some people are born with athletic abilities and some aren’t and I’m one of the aren’ts. Whether it’s hand-eye coordination, speed, agility, flexibility, or a combination of those things, I was in the back of the line and the pickings were meager by the time they got to me. I’m not complaining either. Being mediocre means that you don’t often win, so you don’t have a lot of pressure. If, by some stroke of calamity, you do win, it’s a bonus.

It’s genetics and there isn’t much you can do about it. Neither of my parents were athletic, none of my grandparents were athletic, my brothers aren’t athletic except that Bob (aka Bobbie Butane) has good hand-eye coordination; don’t play pool or darts with him for money. But genetics gives other things and they count in making us who we are.

I’m a good test taker. Throughout the years there have been many of my friends who are smarter than me, but scored worse on tests. When I enlisted in the Air Force, they gave me a battery of tests to see where I should be placed. The recruiter called and told me I had scored as high as you can get on each of the four areas. One part was electrical and I know nothing about it. If you plug it in and it doesn’t work, change the bulb. If that doesn’t work, check the circuit breaker. If that doesn’t work, call an electrician. Another part was mechanical. When I was younger I could change my own oil and filter, change spark plugs, and that’s about it. If it quits working, take it to someone who knows what they’re doing.

When I graduated from Western Michigan University, I sat for the CPA exam a couple of weeks later and passed it the first time. Back in those days, the pass rate on the first try was around six percent. One of the guys I studied with at Western was very bright and always knew the answers when we studied together. The last time I knew he had taken the CPA exam four times and still hadn’t passed all the parts.

So, getting back to the athletics, I look at myself as a filler. The winners wouldn’t have as much glory if they were the only ones in the race. They need us mediocre athletes as fillers. Would you rather be first out of one, or first out of twenty? Well, I’m one of the nineteen fillers. I have had some really bad races, but I’m rarely last. In a field of twenty, I’m usually around tenth. But even if I were last, it wouldn’t matter; at least I’m out there. As one girls said when she finished the Iceman in 1999 after everyone had left, “At least I beat everyone who is home on the couch”. I’ve never forgotten that.

Throughout the years I’ve come to the conclusion that participating, for me, is social and the most important part. Yes, it’s great to win races, but swimming, running or biking with good friends is what I want to be doing. To me, the training rides and runs are more fun than the races. You can do your own thing and, when it’s all over, everyone is the same; a participant, not a winner or loser. At age 60 the joints don’t work as well and I’m getting slower; not faster. But I don’t care; I’m still in the game.

Just (I Do Wish This Hip Would Quit Hurting) Jack