This week’s e-mail is late getting out due to the Trilanders Triathlon Camp at Mike Dimond’s mother’s place at Torch Lake. We had a great time and got in some good swims, bikes and runs in between relaxing on the deck and testing the temperature of Bell’s Oberon from the cooler. Thanks to Mike and Diane for putting up with us all weekend.

Jean and I went up a little early and had a nice visit with my Aunt and Uncle at Bass Lake where I took a quick trip down memory lane. I told Jean the same stories I always tell her when we stop by the cottage and she pretended to have heard them for the first time. We met Bill, Nancy, Larry and Becky at the brew pub in Traverse City for dinner.

It was difficult for me to follow the conversations since, as many of you know, I don’t hear very well with a lot of background noise. Anyway, we talked about the recent testosterone scandal at the Tour de France and Bill was telling a story about Tyler Hamilton and his wife being interviewed about his controlled substance ban from cycling for a period of time. Bill said Tyler’s wife answered most of the questions and said things like “we’ll be starting training soon” and “we plan to do quite a few more races”, but she doesn’t ride and Tyler will be doing all those things himself.

Just then Becky looked directly at Bill and said “That’s like saying WE’RE PREGNANT”. I don’t know why she looked at Bill when she said that and it’s none of my business what they do on their own time, so I won’t ask. All weekend we made comments about Becky “eating for two” and “she should be careful riding in her condition”. She protested early on that she wasn’t really pregnant, but what’s said is said and I’ll leave it at that.

So if that isn’t enough of a surprise I had a horrible experience at the fitness center the day before we left. I had run a “stepped up pace” six miler that morning, was hot and sweaty when I got home, and I couldn’t get the sweat machine stopped. I took a cool shower, dried off, and was soaked by the time I got my clothes on. I went to the fitness center and my clothes looked like I walked there in a downpour.

There was a guy about 70 in the locker room and I heard one of the toilets flush before another guy about the same age came in from the bathroom section. He asked me how the water was so I guess he thought I had been swimming. He sat down on the bench and changed into workout clothes or so I thought. When he stripped down to nothing but a smile I noticed something dark on his “backside”. I learned at an early age not to look down in a men’s locker room, but sometimes you just can’t help it.

Here comes the gross part so women and children should leave the room. When he got up I noticed that, apparently he had forgotten to use toilet paper and he left a “smeared calling card” on the wood bench. I’m not very proud of my reaction because I didn’t say a thing. I should have confronted him but I was flabbergasted (is that a word?) and I didn’t want to embarrass him so I didn’t. I went out to the front desk, asked to talk to the director, and explained what had happened. She immediately called maintenance to get someone there to clean and disinfect.

That’s exactly the way it should happen. What I’m not proud of is that about half an hour later (I’m a slow learner) it dawned on me that when he asked me how the water was, he was probably going to the pool. By then it was too late to do anything about it and I kick myself for not catching on a little quicker. In my own defense I have lived almost 60 years and I’ve never run into anyone who “forgot to wipe” that wasn’t under two years old or over 59 years, 8 months and 2 days old and in a medical care facility. I know I complain about not being able to swim in a pool, but thank God for chlorine.

Jean’s progress…she rode her bike on the roads for the first time this past weekend and everything went well. After a 45 miler ride around Torch Lake Saturday, Jean, Bill and I went out for a short ride on Sunday afternoon just to loosen the legs. Bill dropped off at 25 minutes since we had talked about only going for an hour. I led to the next stop sign and Jean and I turned around at 45 minutes. I told Jean to lead back and she took off. It was all I could do to keep up with her and she was holding herself back. She has been running without the towel under her arm and she actually swam Wednesday morning so she’s “almost back”. With her persistence on the bike trainer and aqua-jogging, I don’t think she’s lost much and will still “kick my behind” in five and half weeks at IM Wisconsin.

I went to two funerals this week and both people were way too young…one was 65 and the other 63.

Just (Shoot Me When I Forget To Wipe) Jack