Most of you know I made a quick trip to Michigan to attend the March hospital board meeting and take one load of stuff back, mainly the beer brewing equipment. Jean decided to stay up there but I’m back down in Florida for three more weeks.

The drive up was bad enough but the ride back down was a struggle. I hate driving on the interstates but they’re the best way back and forth. Since I drove back alone, I had to keep myself occupied so I listened to oldies radio stations. Each station would last about 20 minutes and then would be out of range. The morning radio was blanketed by radio talk people and I think I’ve found a new profession. I’ve been retired for four years now and have been getting a little bored, so I’ve been thinking about something to do with my free time. I also need money to help pay for the $1,375 in bills to clean out, dig up and replace a plugged and broken sewer line in Hastings. Jean was tired of cleaning up s*#$ off the basement floor so WE decided to spend the money.

I don’t want to do anything remotely associated with accounting, so I’ve decided I’m best suited to be a “laffer”. The first time I ever remember a professional “laffer” was Ed McMahon on the Tonight Show. No matter how stupid Johnny Carson’s jokes were, he would break out laughing.

On the radio shows there is usually a host accompanied by two “laffers”. The host tells a dumb joke or makes a supposedly funny comment and the “laffers” start laughing. A follow-up comment comes and the laughs get louder. Every once in a while they kick in with a cliché like “I hate it when that happens” or “Been there…Done that”. I’ve always been a quiet laugher, but to be a “laffer” on a radio show, you have to be loud. And, I’ll have to learn to suppress comments like “That wasn’t funny at all” or “Boy, was that stupid”. I’ll practice all summer and try out after IM Wisconsin.

Speaking of IM Wisconsin, our 24 weeks of training started this past Monday. After a swim in the indoor pool at Pennock, I broke out everywhere (believe me…you don’t want to see the pictures). I had the normal itch spots here and there but had welts the size of silver dollars in two or three unmentionable places, and it drove me nuts. The outdoor pools don’t seem to bother me so I’ll be OK at least until I get back to Michigan. Maybe I’ll start lake swimming early. There are lots of groups that swim in San Francisco Bay all the time, so swimming in Michigan at the beginning of May can’t be much colder.

Saturday was the first long ride, but it wasn’t any longer than the rides we’ve been doing at San Antonio. Our friend Larry, the 73 year old biker from Buffalo, asked if I wanted to ride in a bike tour from Starkey Park to raise some money for Alzheimer’s research. They had several events but the bike tours were 25K, 50K and 100K (100K is 62 miles for you non-metric people). The 100K fit my training schedule so, for $20 and another t-shirt I’ll probably never wear, I did a catered ride. Only 25 or 30 did the 100K and most of them rode as groups.

Larry has been riding slow due to a nagging injury and didn’t want to do 62 miles so I rode alone until about the 8th mile when a guy and two girls went by me. They weren’t going much faster than me and the girls were drafting behind the guy. At Highway 52 (12+ miles) the guy took off and the girls rode side by side. The scenery was great so I hooked in about 8 bike lengths back and stayed with them all the way to the 31 mile turn-around. They were going around 21 most of the time and I didn’t push out of heart rate 2 to stay with them. We chit-chatted at the cross streets but didn’t say much else.

At about the 25 mile mark the slender one shrieked, swerved and slowed way down. There was a snake crossing the trail and she is deathly afraid of snakes. She apologized and I told her I was used to it. I said that Jean, my wife, was afraid of snakes and she almost ran me off the Withlacoochie Trail when a fierce one reared up 5 feet tall and snarled at her. They got a laugh and the girl seemed to calm down. At the 100K turn around they went on and I turned around like the rules said to do. After running the red light a few weeks ago my life of crime is over.

I stopped on the way back at Highway 50 for a peanut butter and grape jelly “Uncrustable” and they came along a few minutes later. I asked them why they didn’t turn around at the sign and they said they weren’t doing the tour, had started at Highway 54 and wanted to hit their 30 mile mark before they turned around. They are triathletes and will be doing the Fort Desoto Triathlon in the next couple of weeks. I left and within a mile they were passing me again. I stayed with them until Highway 52 and they stopped, so that was the end of the good scenery. OK. I’m happily married, I’m old, but I’m not dead! It was a fun ride and was for a good cause so I enjoyed it.

The long run for today (Sunday) was the same as I’ve been running the last few weeks (80 to 100 minutes…8 to 10 miles at 10 minute mile pace) so it wasn’t much of a change except I had to run alone. Bummer!! I enjoyed last week’s run. Larry Etter said he wanted to run with me because he needed to run really slow. Thanks for the self-image booster, Larry. Actually, I know what he meant. I kept him from running too fast and he kept me on my planned 10 minute mile pace.

Better go. Just did a 22 mile recovery bike and need to go to the YMCA to lift. Isn’t Sunday a day of rest?

Just (Back In The Training Groove And Lovin’ It) Jack